Here’s what I see: Working one-on-one in a calm and relaxing environment where my goal and sole focus is to help you look and feel better.
What some people see: Being alone in a dimly lit room, lying naked (or mostly naked) on a table while a stranger touches my body.
That’s not how everybody sees their first massage or facial, but I have to admit I was one of those people who did. Then there are those few people that are just so anxious to get their treatment started that they’ve started undressing before I’ve even left the room. <Awkward!>
Generally, there are more feelings of vulnerability during massage than facial appointments, so we’ll just focus on massage. Whether you’re a long-time believer and investor in massage therapy or have only gotten a massage once, there may be questions that you’re too embarrassed to ask.
Don’t worry, I’m here for you. No embarrassment, no judgements. Just straight-forward answers to some questions that may have crossed your mind.
Am I supposed to take my underwear off?
Totally up to you. If you want to keep them on, keep them on. Don’t mind being free? Take them off. Either way, it doesn’t bother us massage therapists. Is it easier to work the muscles (ie. glutes, quads) without the hindrance of panties or boxers? Yes, it’s always easier to work the muscle directly without hindrance of clothing, but we can work around them if need be. In our practice, I’d say it’s about 60/40 of people that take them off vs. people who keep them on. Your comfort is of utmost importance, so whatever is best for you, go for it.
What if I fall asleep? And snore? Or drool?
Good night! So you fall asleep, no big deal. It’s pretty much a compliment – you’re comfortable enough to completely relax. And that snoring is music to my ears! I promise I won’t tell anyone. That drool, chances are I don’t even notice it. Drooled while you’re laying on your stomach? No worries, 90% of the time I wear shoes, so I won’t know. 🙂
Are you judging my cellulite?
Yeah…no. Judging is so not part of my job description! There are many factors that contribute to how much cellulite you have and how much is visible. And since we mentioned judging, I’ll let you know that it doesn’t bother me if you forgot to shave your legs or haven’t had a pedicure in months or came in with your hair still damp from the shower. When you’re in my room, you’re safe from the daily battle against imperfections. Every body is beautifully unique.
Oh, man, can you hear my weird body noises?!
Probably. But I don’t mind. Maybe you haven’t had a chance to eat and now you’re hungry. Or even if you’ve eaten, your stomach may make noises as it digests. Heard of the flight or flight response? What happens during massage is quite the opposite – you rest and digest. The parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for activities that occur when we are at rest, including digestion, which makes stomach noises perfectly normal during a massage. Wait, you weren’t thinking about your stomach growling when you read “weird body noises”? Ah, yes. Fart. You farted. Silent or loud. Smelly or not. It happens. Probably more often than you think. If it happens to you (because those sneaky little bastards sometimes escape despite your best intentions of keeping them in), you can either ignore it or just excuse yourself. Seriously, you’re not the first one to fart during a massage and you’re definitely not going to be the last.
What if I, you know, get an…umm…
Erection. Boner. Pitch a tent. Whatever you want to call it, it happens. Let me be quite blunt here…there are ways to get your session cut short while you pay for the full amount of your session, accompanied by an invitation to never come back. Perhaps even a phone call to the police. A few ways would be to 1) point it out, 2) attempt to “resolve” the issue by touching yourself, 3) grind/hump the table or 4) expect me to do something about it. Thankfully, in my 12 year career thus far, this type of behavior has never occurred on my table. It’s probably my deep voice and towering stature that deters such propositions. But seriously, erections during massage do happen. Being relaxed and the sensation of touch, even though it is completely non-sexual, can elicit such a response. It doesn’t happen often, but if it does happen to you, there’s no reason to freak out. Deep breaths. Relax. It will be okay.
Do you have a potentially embarrassing question? If you do, please ask me! The chances are you’re not the only one thinking that particular question. If we can get all our reservations out into the open, we may help more people get comfortable on the table.